4 Years Old

Some days, they just both want to be held, even at 4. This is a rare situation. Almost never do they both want to cuddle at the same time. Today was a bittersweet day for me. I dread each year Laycee and Logan grow a year older because that means I am a year closer to an absence of little children in my home. It was even more so this year since yesterday we lost our 5th baby. Through each day, I am infamous for saying... "I can't wait until they can..."

1. They can sit up, which happend at 7 months.

2. They can hold their own bottle, also 7 months.

3. They can eat real food, baby food started at 8 months.

4. They can crawl... oh 11 and 12 months.

5. They can walk... 18 months.

6. They can talk... finally age 2.5-3 they could really talk.

7. They can buckle their own car seat... just started doing that.

8. They can dress themselves. We have finally learned and almost perfected this skilll.

9. They can unbuckle their own carseat... maybe one day.

10. They can read their own books. Oh reading is not so far away!

11. They can help with chores. Surprisingly they do help with chores.

12. We can go out to eat without spilling drinks everywhere... lol maybe one day.

The list goes on as a mother can't wait until their little children can accomplish the next task. I do not miss the endless hours of washing bottles. I do not miss the crying that never stops because as soon as I calm one, the other starts in. I do not miss the garbage of diapers that is always full. I sometimes look at families with two or three little children and suddenly I realized; that is not me anymore. I do miss the constant loves and irritability because I just need a bit of space. They are so independant now. I do miss watching as they toddle across the floor excited by everything they see. I do miss the way they could be distracted by almost anything.

When they turned one, I was happy the first year was over. When they turned two, I just couldn't wait until they could grow up just a bit more. When they turned three, I realized they were really growing up. This year I can't believe how they have changed. In some ways I wish I could go back, but in the end, I again can't wait until they grow another year older.